Where is Baby #2?
A good number of you out there know about our desire for another child. Gabe is two now and the thought of having a little brother or sister for him is incredibly exciting. We have been hoping to conceive another child since January, and the fact that we haven't gotten pregnant is a little bit shocking to me considering Gabe was born 10 months and 10 days after our wedding day. I just thought that one, maybe two (and that's pushing it), months would go by and I would be celebrating the news with my friends and family. I have looked for cute maternity clothes and baby bedding on eBay. I have thought about baby names. But now, 8 months later, I have been taught so many things about God and being a mom and I'm pretty sure I would've missed these things if this "time" never existed. I don't want to get in the habit of numbering thoughts; I just find it easier this way....
1. Life does not come FROM me, only OUT of me. Psalm 139:13, "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb." Because Roddy and I were blessed with Gabe so quickly into our marriage, I just assumed that I was Fertile Myrtle and the second I wanted #2 it would happen. Ummm, no. Only God is the giver of life and it is in HIS timing that we will, if it is in His plan, have another child.
2. I have also gained a small understanding for those who cannot get pregnant. I am sounding borderline selfish, I know. I have a beautiful, healthy child, so how can I even come close to understanding? I can't. I can't imagine the pain, nor will I try to, but I do know what it's like to really, REALLY think that I'm pregnant and find out that I'm not. Or look at a pregnant person walking in the mall and wish it were me. These are only small things, like I said, but I feel more compassionate and understanding than I did 8 months ago, that's for sure.
3. I am able to do things that I would not have been able to do if I were pregnant. I have been able to dig in deeper to relationships within the youth group girls that I hang out with. I have the ability to put my (almost 40 pound) baby in my lap. God has opened my eyes to what a clean house can do to help my family and our relationships with each other. I have dumped out almost all of our closets, hauled embarrassing amounts of stuff to Goodwill, and have basically undone the "household damage" that was caused by college graduation, marriage, a baby and 3 moves within a little over a year's time. Praise the Lord!! I am free!!! I am amazed by the lifestyle change that has occurred in me since my cleaning craze began. I now work out approximately 3 times a week. I am learning and growing and reading my Bible with a passion that hasn't been there in a long time.
4. And last but absolutely not least, I have learned the importance of paying attention when God is calling you to do something. When my dear friend Kristen started talking to me about birth control 3 months before we were married, I started feeling convicted about things I thought were right and good in marriage. Waiting at least 2 years to have kids, for example, is very common among advice given to newly-weds. Roddy and I felt that that was not what we wanted to do (to the amazement of some), and so there was Gabe. We will have our 3rd anniversary next month, and I would change nothing about having our sweet child when we did. Thank God we didn't wait because that might have been our only shot.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11. Maybe He has something great in store for us that would be tough with a little baby. Maybe that child will be from a different mother and father, but will call us Mom and Dad. Who knows!!?? When people say, "Don't worry, he/she will come," I'm not worried! My God, the Lord of the universe, cares about me. He knows the plans He has for me. He is going to give me hope and a future.
I don't know where Baby #2 is, or if he or she will ever come. I'm okay with that. Ecclesiates 3:11 says "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end." He has made everything beautiful in its time, and I can't fathom his plan or His greatness.
9 comments:
You are such a blessing to me and our son. You are amazing!
I think your attitude is awesome. I am all choked up...good thing that doesn't affect my fingers! (Har.)
I praise the Lord for all the things He has been showing you during this time. I will be praying for you guys, and I am glad that you're being satisfied in Him! ((HUG)) I know it's alternately hard, empowering, heartbreaking, and faith-building. I guess that's how He grows us.
I don't really ask questions like that, I don't figure it is any of my business I guess :), but you have a beautiful attitude about it!
I came over here from Kristen's blog and thought it was neat when I saw that you live in Lexington, SC. We live in Chapin, my husband works over in Irmo (he manages the Family Christian Store on Harbison Blvd.). Small world... :)
Have a blessed day!
I also came over from Kristen's blog and I'm glad I did.
I appreciate the godly spirit that you have on the whole subject of Baby #2. I also love the title of your blog and why you chose it.
God does make everything beautiful in His time. God bless!
I just wanted to encourage you to keep your faithful attitude during this time! It's difficult when we think we are ready for something, and God knows that it must wait for that perfect time. When(Lord-willing) baby number 2 does finally come, you will have a whole new love and appreciation for this blessing! Love in Christ,
Samantha
Thanks you guys. :-) I find all of your comments very encouraging. I have visited the blogs of my new friends and look forward to getting to know you better!
Samantha-- I've thought about the fact that if in fact Baby #2 comes along, he or she will be recognized by not only myself, but a lot of others too, as a bigger blessing than he or she already would be! I want all fingers to point to Him, not me or my husband, if it happens!!
Dear Katie,
Thank you for such a beautiful post. I have a 3 year old and a 19 month old. I am extremely blessed. My husband and I have been open to receiving any blessings the Lord might send. I was able to conceive so quickly before, so I also was rather surprised that I have not conceived yet. I definitely feel like I can understand better those women who are unable to conceive. I also think that when/if I receive another child, he/she will be that much more precious to me because I had to wait for him/her. Blessings to you and yours and prayers that He may send you another child in His Perfect time.
Good thoughts and encouragement.. May the Lord continue blessing in so many ways!
( via walking circumspectly, via buried treasure )
Katie,
I just came over from Kristen's blog and was very encouraged by your post. I am in a similar situation. We have wanted baby #4 to come along for a while now. Our youngest is 5. We too got pregnant on the honeymoon and then thought we'd continue being that fertile. Our second came along almost three years after the first with a very early miscarriage in between. God has taught me a lot in my experience too. My desire for another has waxed and waned in intensity too. We even pursued medication and investigated whether there were any problems with me but I concluded that I just wanted to leave everything in the Lord's hands. He is big enough. I just keep reminding myself of Sarah and how miraculous that was. Nothing is too difficult for Him. I also have learned about letting go of the "not givens" (Elisabeth Elliot's phrase). Amy Carmichael once wrote - "In acceptance lieth peace." Blessings to you in your journey. Keep fixing your eyes on Him.
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